 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
May 31, 2005
Sorry, I have been slack in updating, again, but to be entirely honest, it has been a v. difficult time for me the last week or so, trying to wrap my head around everything.
So yes! We have had our scan, and the scan went well. There were no signs of abnormalities, and despite the last sonographers readings and measurements, we aren't behind dates, and baby is not small at all. We are bang on for size, actually.
Spider monkey was very unco-operative. First they tried to measure it's head, and its brain, which it promptly shoved into my hip cavity in order to hide it. Thus, they dug the ultrasound into my hip bone, chasing their measurements. Then they tried to measure and get a close look at it's heart. It took two sonographers an hour and a half to get the images of it's heart that they needed, all while I coughed, and went to the toilet and rolled over every which way, they bounced the ultrasound wand up and down on my ever burgeoning belly, - and it folded it's hands over it's heart, and lay on it's side preventing them from getting a better view. ~L~
At this point one of the sonographers said they knew it was unlikely, but it DID seem like the babe was doing this on purpose. Shortly after that they tried to get a measurement of it's hands - which were tucked down it's side and impossible to see. I got up, went to the toilet, came back and the first image they see is of babe placidly waving both hands in front of it's face and wiggling it's fingers. "Oh perfect!" said the sonographer, and leaned over to clock the button to capture that image and take the measurement. In the second it took her to do that, spidermonkey folded both of it's hands behind it's back. It's a pity you cant see facial expression on ultrasound, 'cause I'm pretty sure that was followed by a smirk. On purpose, indeed!
But - all's well that ends well, all measurements were taken, everything checked out, all looks normal, and we know which *variety* it is, but we are keeping it to ourselves. I came home and for two days couldn't straighten up because of the bruising and sore muscles in my belly from the poking and prodding.
To be honest, it has taken me this long to come to terms with the fact that there was nothing wrong. I didn't realise it 'till after everything was said and done, but I never expected to be ushered back out onto the street with some lovely ultrasound pictures and a clear diagnosis. When I left I cried - where do I go from here, I thought? Now this is new territory. I am getting used to the idea that we may actually get a live healthy baby at the end of all this, but it is taking time to sink in - I am still hyper aware that on Thursday when I reach 20 weeks, I will be one day more pregnant than I have ever been before. I think I still may be a little shell shocked, and I think there is still one part of me that is waiting for the bomb to drop. I think that part of me will still be there right up until I have that baby in my arms. Perhaps even after. I'm convincing myself that given the situation, that's normal, and I'm not being morbid and / or paranoid. But in the meantime, just trying to adjust, thinking of spidermonkey as having personality, thinking of it born, and trying NOT to think of all the things that could still go wrong. I'm getting there - just - slowly.
19 weeks and 5 days
Posted at 01:11 pm by bitchywitch
Permalink
May 20, 2005
Aha! Strike one for me, and none for sonographer.
After seeing Dr Dubya last week and getting a nice shiny referral for my mid trimester ustrasound, with a note on it stating my EXACT due date (which would be the one I am working with) I called to radiography place and asked for my scan to be moved forward. After much discussion about how my due date was not what I thought it was, I pointed out that I had a referral from my obstetrician with my exact due date on it, which is MY due date, and not wrong, and that my obstetrician should know considering he was the one who put the embryo back.
Scan date has now been moved up to Wednesday 25th - less than a week away! Hurrah!
Am very stoked to actually be getting my scan at the CORRECT stage of gestation.
18 weeks and 1 day
Posted at 12:36 pm by bitchywitch
Permalink
May 16, 2005
There is not terribly much happenning around here. It is mostly housework, work, cooking dinner and the like. As a result, I have been MASSIVELY sucked into this years Big Brother already. How sad am I?
First off, CONGRATZ to the Girlwonder, on the Birth of Alexander, who is as beautiful as he is tiny, and obviously, already the apple of his parent's and big sisters eye. As he should be, given his age. ~L~
And a second congratz to someone who does not read this anyways, to R, who informed me on mothers day that this baby will have a cousin very close in age, namely D's little brother or sister. I'm stoked our kids will hopefully all be close enough to be the same sort of friends we are.
Mark's work is going well, despite the hiccups and speedbumps he faces on a daily basis while settling in - bound to happen given he has only been there two and a half months in my opinion. My work, part time though it is, is also going about the same - well, despite the occasional cock up. Financially things aren't too bad, we are saving for baby things, and a car, and other stuff (digital camera for one), and I'm very excited at the prospect of getting my linen for our bed off laybuy this week - we have been paying it off for 3 months, so this weekend we will actually be sleeping on a king size bed with proper king size sheets and doona etc instead of make do add ons and overlaps.
And finally, as for baby's progress, well, everything seems to be ok. Morning sickness has finally tucked it's tail between it's legs and run off, leaving in it's place persistent nagging headaches - but I can deal with them, no worries. I have really started to show now, and am carrying very differently from last time. By this point with Brannwen, I was sure greenpeace activists were going to try and roll me back out to sea, I was so big. This time I have nice neat little belly, and it is all out front. I have put on a grand total of one kilo so far, and all my blood test for downs etc came back normal. My blood sugars were *borderline* but Dr Dubya said not to worry about it too much, and just go an as I was, and they will repeat them at 28 weeks. I am still shying away from any red meat that isn't heavily flavoured to disguise the taste of blood I get, but am managing to keep my iron levels ok despite it, through loads of green leafy vegies which I have developed a sudden and intense liking for. I'm also heavily into tomatoes at the moment, and am ashamed to admit I finally had one of those weird pregnancy cravings which cause you to eat something totally stupid - like an entire can of concentrated tomato paste.
I'm also very reassurred by the fact I am now feeling consistent and definite movement every day, but M is yet to be able to feel it, so he can't tell me yet if he finds it as bizarre and freakish as I do. It is nice, but most of the time it takes me by surprise, and being as in denial as I still am, I often react with a 'What the fuck? oh....'
And thats pretty much it for round here - Three weeks until our big scan (late, with thanks to the sonographer not listening when I said my dates were definite).. so pretty much just treading water until then.
17 weeks, 3 days
Posted at 01:29 pm by bitchywitch
Permalink
May 3, 2005
In sickness and in boredom...
I'm gunna be blunt - I'm not whining, really I am not, but - I will be 16 weeks on Thursday, and I am still nauseous and queasy every single morning. I've tried eating, both in the morning and in the middle of the night, I've tried peppermint oil, I've tried my usual trick of something icy cold to freeze my stomach into submission, yet it persists. Anyone else with any ideas?
In other news I am getting more and more nervous about this scan at 20 weeks, and terrified something is wrong, and just as terrified that the spidermonkey is not growing well, despite the fact that I had my first *real* kicks last night, which were much higher up in my belly than the recent flutters and wiggles have been. Paranoia reigns supreme here at the moment. I laybyed a nice little outfit and some flanelette wraps the other day, which I told my SIL, R, about, which she took as the go ahead to shop till she drops. ~L~ She delivered to me on Sunday bag of very cute and groovy things she had bought for the baby, as well as a bag of things her son D had not worn, because he was too big for them, which was lovely of her.
Other than that things are pretty much status quo around here, aside from the fact I am now working part time as a receptionist at the real estate agency where my sister works. It's not much, just a little bit of pocket money, a handful of hours per week, but it is something. Will pay for baby bits and pieces.
I remain unsure as to wether having nothing to report is a good thing, or a bad thing. Maybe it's just a thing?
15 weeks and 5 days
Posted at 12:50 pm by bitchywitch
Permalink
Apr 22, 2005
If it looks, tastes and smells like shit - It's probably shit.
I have this belief, that in life, the only people who are victims are those who CHOOSE to be. They CHOOSE to focus on the negatives of their life, and they CHOOSE to let those negatives affect their life to such an extent that it becomes who they are, wholly and completely. They refuse to even admit for a moment that there is anything even remotely positive about their life, their lifestyle, their situation.
And although this is a general statement, a great majority of these people feel the need to speak about these negatives at any given opportunity, to every person they come across.
The first time, they come across as open and honest people.
The second time they come across as a person desperately seeking help.
To me, by the third time, they are whingers, and time wasters, pure and simple.
I have no sympathy whatsoever, for people who expect endless help, while refusing to help themselves. I have no respect at all for a person who dribbles on endlessly to other people about how bad their situation is, while not lifting a godamned finger to get themselves out of it. They take all the help they are given with seeming gratefulness, and still nothing changes. Why? Because the problem is theirs alone. The problem is WITHIN THEM. And until they wish to help themselves all the help in the world from other people is going to go nowhere.
I get so tired of this shit. It makes me angry to know people who really need help aren't getting it, because those who will not help themselves whinge louder, by far.
In short - B.O.O. H.O.O. Get over yourselves already.
Disclaimer - this post is in no way about anyone who reads this blog, any similarity is entirely coincidental, and it has been a long fucking day.
Posted at 05:37 pm by bitchywitch
Permalink
Apr 20, 2005
Ultra -sonic - boom - sound
I have been v. slack in updating, oh yes, this I know.
But here's a little secret for you - I have been counting down the days to my ultrasound, and absolutely shitting myself. Not the occasional bad thought, and a little bit worried sort of shitting myself, but the jumping on the big red shiny panic button completely unable to sleep or function as a human being for fear of the what if's sort of shitting myself. For anyone who knows me, this should come as no suprise.
So I decided to wait until after the ultrasound to update, figuring that anything I had to say would be less than coherent up to that point anyways.
And everything above this paragraph is the closest thing to, and will have to serve as, my apology for being slack.
However! The ulstrasound went well. We saw a heart (all four chambers), lungs (two), kidneys (two), stomach (one, thankgod, and not four, it is not a cow), legs (two - humanoid), arms (two), fingers, toes, jaw eyes and head (one). And thank goodness, two perfectly separate halves of the brain, with the back of the skull neatly intact, brain contained within said skull.
We are not out of the woods yet, toto - they are unable to give us the complete all clear until the 20 week ultrasound. But so far - it's looking good.
I was however, vehemently unimpressed with the sonographers measurement of baby, and his announcement my dates were wrong and I was in fact 12 and a half weeks, and not the one day shy of 14 weeks I am. His dates are a physical impossibility, and even he said their dates can be out by a week or more. He has however, booked the next ultrasound based on HIS date and not mine. Which means I now have to wait a further 8 weeks for the next scan. Not. Happy. Jan.
I am however, going to continue to stick to my date in my head and on my blog, because it is the date that I feel is correct, so yeah.. something or other to him, and also something about the horse he rode in on.
I will update more soon when my head has really wrapped around things, but can I just say how visibly shocked I was when I saw there really was a live wiggling thing in there with arms and legs, and I had not just been fucking with my own head this whole time. Still trying to come to terms with that.
And I will finish with how funny I found it and how proud I was, when the sonographer prodded particularly hard on my belly, and the spider monkey turned it's arse on us all, and gave us a very obvious *talk to the hand people* gesture. Cracked me the fuck up.
13 weeks, 6 days
Posted at 01:19 pm by bitchywitch
Permalink
Mar 31, 2005
Sick is me at the moment. I am the very heighth of illness. A week ago, I started having uncontrollable sneezing fits. Not to worry I thought, it's been a kinda sneezy week - discounting the fact that I never get hayfever. After a couple of days my nose was also running like a tap. I thought - my body can lick this. Yesterday morning I woke up with a throat that felt I had been swallowing razorblades. I was unable to speak, to breathe properly or to move, because when I did, my chest would tense up and the coughing would begin. And the coughing, would lead to vomiting. Suffice to say I haven't been a pretty sight. So yesterday I trotted of to the doctors to see if there was anything I could take to knock this thing on it's ass considering it's demonstrated likeness of just getting worse.
I want to know why, when a GP sees me coming, they automatically feel it is their mission in life, to phrase things in such away, as to scare the bejesus out of me.
Like when I asked her if there was anything I could take that was safe in pregnancy given I was nearly 11 weeks pregnant, why could she have not said "these anti biotics I am prescribing for you are safer for your baby than continuing with your fever and cough". That would of been fine.
Instead she had to say
"Well, if your fever and cough continue you could spontaneously abort the baby anyways so I'm giving you some antibiotics that are safe in pregnancy"
WHY WERE THE WORDS SPONTEOUSLY ABORT NECESSARY??????
Two more weeks, and we see Dr Dubya, two more weeks. He will tell me it's all ok. Two more weeks. Chant it with me people.
So.. now... we have the respitory tract infection I have been struggling with for a week. The morning sickness. And the case of thrush I had just gotten over, which will no doubt be back again with the help of the antibiotics I'm taking to kick the respitory tract infection.
I'm not whinging, really I am not. More so just wondering why everything shows up at once. Something to do with lowered immune system capacity I suppose.
Anyways, on the side of the good news bringers, I have my next appointment, the appointment at the hospital where I am booked in to have this baby should it come to that, on the 15th. I will be 13 weeks then, and it is an appointment with an obstetrician and another with a midwife, with a scan either thrown in there or for a few days after depending on when the obstetrician can schedule it for. I was v. v. v. stoked to find out that the obstetrician that will be seeing me, is Dr Dubya as I mentioned above. I had no idea he practised as an obstetrician and I also had no idea he practised at this particular hospital, so that was a mega fkn bonus for me. The squealing with excitement was hideous and girlish. I get this excited over seeing a decent doctor - it's pathetic huh?
Nothing new to report on the pregnancy front really. As far as I know, Dangermouse is doing just fine - no way to know either way really. Fear and paranoia levels are reaching maximum capacity.
11 weeks today
Posted at 12:30 pm by bitchywitch
Permalink
Mar 23, 2005
The good, the bad and the ugly.
Things I am not liking, and things I am liking.
I am not liking -
The fact that for the past week, all I have really wanted, is a hot scone, with jam and cream. But given I am a cook, this is really hard for me to admit, but - my scones are shithouse. They are edible, yes. But they do not have that crispy top, fluffy insides and warm steamy doughyness of, say, my nana's scones. Nana is gone now, and the storebought variety aren't even a patch on mine, let alone hers. I have the sneaking suspicion that if I want really good scones, I will either have to sneakily befriend someone elses grandma, or join the country womens association msyelf. *sigh*
Also not enjoying the tug of war between M and myself on who does the dishes. I am sulking because it is his job, and he hasn't done them for three days. I know he was sick one of those days, but whats the excuse for the other two? Meanwhile I have done nearly 7 loads of washing in the past two days because I decided to re arrange the linen closet, and wash everything in it while I was there.
Not enjoying the bitchorama going on in EB. There's a whole load of people who really need to grow the hell up, understand their opinion is not the only right one, and stay away from a topic if you have nothing constructive to add - wether you think your *mates* need backing up, or wether you think it will raise your personal profile or not.
Not enjoying the times M has ben getting home from work!!! Metlink REALLY needs to get their act together - yesterday he had three (yes THREE) trains cancelled on him - no warning, just cancelled, not replaced. As a result he was late to work, and it took him over two hours to get home. That's just bullshit.
Things I am liking-
Enjoying the fact that M will occassionally buy me a hot jam donut from the van at the Footscray train station on his way home from work - dead set they are the best jam donuts in Melbourne. They're not scones, but they are still very good.
Believe it or not, am really enjoying the auttumny weather - not hot, but not cold either. Auttumn has always been my favourite season.
Am really enjoying the night time chat I am going to - now that the *I have to go to bed early* tiredness seems to have passed mostly, I am back to being a nightowl, and I hate having to watch infomercials 'cause there's nothing else to do.
Loving the fact that there's so many public holidays in the wind for easter - and M gets paid for all of them because he is now in a full time job. If he was still temping I would be shitting myself right about now.
Really loving the new organised look of the linen closet and the lovely fabric softner jasmine smell it has to it now due to aformentioned cleaning spree.
I really do take pleasure in the smallest, silliest of things huh?
Posted at 12:58 pm by bitchywitch
Permalink
Mar 21, 2005
Lets play Dr's and Nurses and I'll rip you a new one...
You know, doctors can be real assholes.
The other week, I was suppossed to have a follow up appointment after the scan with Doctor Dubya's replacement, because he was on holidays. Thankfully, I decided to phone up on the morning of the appointment just to check we were still all systems go, and see if he was running behind schedule. His receptionist told me, he was in surgery all day, and that there had been no appointment made for me at all according to her records.
Fine said I. I figured I would rather see Doctor Dubya when he got back from holidays anyways. But in the meantime, what to do, what to do? One must have a referral from a Dr of some sort to book in at hospital.
So I made an appointment to see a local GP who does shared pregnancy care - and what an arselicker this guy is.
He begins the consultation by asking about my PCOS. He then goes on to tell me, and I quote
"You know you are a sitting duck for being as big as a house while pregnant aren't you? You better start getting some excercise."
I politely explained I walk every day to get excercise, I am very careful about my diet, and I am also on metformin, as I gathered he was referring to the risk of gestational diabetes.
AFTER I had informed him this was my second pregnancy, and that the first was induced at 19 weeks due to encepheleole, he casually informs me that metformin causes birth defects. And by the way how do you spell encepheleole - and thats the same as anencephaly, right?
Um, NO doctor. I can see you know just vast amounts of information on birth defects, and oddly enough I have asked well over 6 specialists, and done alot of looking into the studies myself, and ON WHAT THE FUCK do you base your misguided opinion that metformin causes birth defects? I was so fkn angry that he said something like that that I was rendered absolutely speechless. Despite the fact that I know he is wrong, and is pulling that info straight out of his murky butt, I am still now paranoid I will have a second child with birth defects. However, I am still on the metformin, because Dr Dubyas opinion is one I DO trust, and he said to stay on it.
Needless to say though, now I have the referral for the hospital, I am not fucking going back. He can kiss my ever widening butt. Because he forgot to write down my weight when he weighed me, and had to do it twice, didn't write down my blood pressure at all, didn't feel for the fundus or ask how I was feeling, but slapped my husband on the back and informed him it was a job well done AFTER being informed this was an IVF baby, and chargd me more than my specialist does for the priveledge. FUCKER.
Speaking of widening my belly has started to poke out a bit more. Depending on how I dress it's not really noticeable to anyone but me, but perhaps it is more noticeable to me because I can feel it.
To finish off, let me just say -
GIRLWONDER Where are you? Please send me a message and let me know everything is ok with you and Xander, as I am very worried about the both of you. :(
I am 9 weeks and 4 days today
Posted at 05:50 am by bitchywitch
Permalink
Mar 14, 2005
So, I haven't updated in a while. I've had a week or two of quite bad morning sickness, and looking at the computer wasn't helping much. It seems to have backed off a little now, though. (today anyways)
In the meantime, to my horror, my belly is beggining to grow already - I got very big very quick with Brannwen, but by the same token, not this quick that I can remember. I can still look normal, and as if I am not pregnant, and look like I haven't put on any weight at all, but I think that will only last for another week or two, maximum, until no amount of dressing to not emphasise tummy and waist will help. Then I will simply look fat. While I do enjoy my tummy, and oh yeah I do, I like how it has already gone all round - I don't want anyone else to notice it just yet. Mostly because of my paranoid fear something will go wrong. But also, because - IT HAS STARTED ALREADY!
At my nephew T's birthday, my BIL, J, kept rubbing my belly. After telling him to stop three times, and slapping his hand away he kept doing it. I insisted there was no baby belly yet, only fat, but he continued to rub. I found it to be vaguely creepy. Ick.
(for the record, I am NOT the worlds most touchy feely person)
In other news - M has scored a full time Job! So from now on we will have a steady wage and can start getting back on our feet again. I am muchos happy with this turn of events - it also means we can MOVE eventually! Because I am 100% over, living here.
Also, we have finally procured a new bed - king size mattress and base ensemble, second hand but feels brand new - for the first time in months, I didn't wake up in tears of pain from my back this morning.
And finally, I have my first GP appointment for pregnancy care on Friday, where the GP will check me over, book me into hospital etc. I am a bit excited about that to tell the truth. I like to feel organised.
I am 8 weeks and 4 days today.
And a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to M :)
Posted at 11:30 am by bitchywitch
Permalink
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
 |
|
|
